UNSC Interview

Interviewed by : Diva Doshi (Del of Al jazeera)

The chairs sit down with gravel,have mastered the art of saying “Order delegates” and enough paperwork to rival the United Nations itself.I sat down with the chairs of UNSC and maybe revealed a few committee secrets.

If this committee were a reality show, what would it be called?

Without hesitation the Zen (chair) answered, “Big Boss.” Aadya (assistant chair) erupted in laughter. The other assistant chair, Surya, had a different answer. He took an actual show and tweaked its name a little. He changed the show, "Everybody hates Chris” to “Everybody hates France.”

Which country do you think has the most dramatic delegate? 

In unison Zen and Aadya answered France as the most dramatic delegate.But Surya thought that Boko Haram was the most dramatic delegate.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard in committee today?

The chair thought for a couple seconds then answered, “You have more factual inaccuracy in your committee then genders in your committee.” stated by the delegate of Sudan. The assistant chair Aadya was in agreement but Surya had other thoughts. In his opinion, the nursery rhymes that were said before the committee started were way more funnier.

If you could ban one MUN phrase forever, what would it be?

The chair and assistant director (Aadya) took some time negotiating which phrase they would want to ban and came up with, “Delegates, Delegates, Delegates look at this hypocrisy.” The tone in which the chair said this made the Aadya burst out into laughter. Surya claimed it was the phrase “defacto” as he hated that phrase and found it annoying.

If you were a delegate instead of a chair today, which country would you want?

The chair wanted a country with a more radical stance so he would want to be an extremist where he had to defend himself so the country he chose was Boko Haram which Aadya echoed. Surya, however, said he wanted to be the delegate of China. In his words “China is pretty good.”

What’s your biggest MUN pet peeve?

The chair immediately answered, “when delegates use POI as an opportunity to say a mini speech,” further adding that they get heavily marked down upon when this happens. Assistant director Surya’s pet peeve as a chair he hates when delegates cross talk due to which he is not able to catch anything being spoken in committee. As a result he usually goes ahead and bars them out of committee.

Which Disney character would make the best delegate?

Zen and Aadya thought for a good amount of time and then Aadya muttered, “Donald Duck.” Later, after intense deliberation the chair added that it would be Zazu from the Lion King. Surya initially chose Aladins Uncle (Jafar) but changed his answer to the Genie from Aladdin.

If this committee had a theme song, what would it be?

The assistant director Aadya was quick to answer with the song ‘PARTY IN THE USA’by Miley Cyrus.The chair on the other hand wasn’t able to come to a decision and ended up going with Aadya's answer. Surya, on the other hand, had a tune in mind as he began humming the circus music tune which he thought fits the committee perfectly.

What’s one thing delegates do that secretly makes you laugh?

The assistant director Surya finds one thing extremely funny when delegates raise points of parliamentary inquiry that are completely irrelevant. He claims that instead of getting annoyed he finds them hilarious. The Chair admits, saying that when delegates insult each other it makes him secretly laugh, a sentiment shared by Aadya as well.

What’s the weirdest Point of Information you’ve ever heard?

According to Surya, the weirdest point of information he had received was when Islamic State of West Africa (ISWAP)  accidently referred to Antonio Guterres as “a god”, which prompted several scathing points of inquiry about The Quran and blasphemy. After some thought the chair stated that he has never had a weird POI but rather had a weird Point of Personal Privilege where one delegate said to the other “Delegate please move behind your breath smells really bad,” making everyone around laugh uncontrollably. Another one the chair had mentioned was when the delegate of France started their speech with eating a croissant and then the delegate of Russia used a point of personal privilege to state that they shouldn't throw food across the committee as it's ‘disrespectful’.

If you had to describe this committee in three words, what would they be?

Aadya and Zen engaged in a joint discussion and came up with the words “chaos, loud, and loyal”. Surya gave it a good thought and came up with the adjectives “loud, confident, and very annoying,” chuckling as he pointed out that he stated that technically he had used four words rather than three.

Who would survive a zombie apocalypse: the delegates or the chairs?

All three of them unanimously agreed that the chairs would survive a zombie apocalypse. Surya laughed as he added that he would threaten to bar the delegates much to everyone’s amusement.

If you could swap places with any delegate for five minutes, would you?

Surya thought it would be an unfair advantage but then he later claimed he would want to switch with the delegate of France. His reasoning being so that he could check all his stuff and make sure he is not doing any “nonsense” again.The chair proclaimed that would want to swap places with any extremist organization in the committee so he could have the chance to defend himself in front of the entire committee.

What’s your most embarrassing MUN moment?

Surya, embarrassed, chuckled sheepishly as he confessed that at his first MUN he was so nervous while speaking that when he went up and spoke all the papers flew out of his hand. The chair took a deep breath before admitting that once there was this one communique he had written which was, infact, a very detailed secret operation but unfortunetly instead of writing covert he had written overt, leading it to be revealed to the entire committee.

If this committee were a group chat, what would its name be?

Surya gave a good answer, as after immense thinking he replied, “The UN Lack of Security” because he supplied, “everyone is getting assassinated or shot.” Zen exclaimed that the group chats name would be “WE HATE HUMAN RIGHTS”.

Which country would be the hardest to impress and why?

Surya didn't give a country from the committee and proceeded to explain that it would be a very random country that's out of topic, “a country like Chad,” he said. The chair thought the hardest to impress from the committee would be Boko Haram as the delegate is very well versed with her facts.

If you could give everyone one superpower for a committee, what would it be?

Surya gave a much needed superpower; he admitted with a smile that the ability he would give to every delegate was to “know when to keep quiet.” Zen and Aadya came to the agreement that the super power they would give would be, in their words, “to actually ask a real point of order and not to disguise it as a million other things.”

What’s one thing you wish every first-time delegate knew?

Surya replied, "don't hold back from speaking. It doesn't matter if you speak complete nonsense because it's the experience that matters.” He further explained, “you are graded on an average and even if you have a few good speeches it's okay.” The Chair responded saying that MUNs are not as formal as one thinks they are from the outside.

“MUN is basically just…”

Surya muttered the word ‘role-playing’ while the chair shrieked the word ‘yapping’.